I see it in your eyes, he said,
suspiciously, I glanced –
perhaps a piece of my soul slipped out?

In my head, under the Eiffel tower
Parisian lights polluted the Seine river
reflecting the lovers here before;

blinding our histories – fresh air accosted
every sense, the limited space between our bodies
grew hope, love fragrant in the night air.

-L.J. Lenehan

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Elephant Girl

My heart, the elephant
of my fate, broken and painful
stumbling through this journey,

without a herd,
without compassion,
without a lover,

I walk through hot coals laid for me
by you, singing my skin, you stare,
until I burn, you turn and go.

But I am the strength
I need in your aftermath
to rise again.

-L.J. Lenehan

Fall again, nature’s efficiency satisfies me
with the consistency of sunsets I no longer watch
still I might like to see one more

the crisp air stinging my face
leaves crackling underfoot
air expanding in my lungs

feeling again, one last time
a regretful reeling of every mistake
every love misunderstood, every path not taken

the sensation of winter’s loss
sends a chill through my core
of the constant anticipation of spring.

-L.J. Lenehan-

For the First Time

On my path, it rains,
my dry skin moisturized.

For the first time, I stop,
observing the bend up the way,

inhaling the fragrant orchard bloom
I try to understand, how I never noticed

the bloom of thistles, water lilies,
dog rose, blue bells, dragonflies.

My steps are overwhelmed
by the need not to move, conflicted

by what lies up ahead, predators in between
lie each side in wait, to take:

my limbs, my children, my life.
I shake with the weight of my little chest

that holds within it a golden soul,
ready to shine.

-L.J. Lenehan-

perseverance

In the early hours of night you walked in my room,
rope in hand, ‘ready’, you said, ‘gonna finish the job
thirteen years living as though you are dead’ he said.
 
Everything I never felt, all at once, an orgasm of pain
every nerve exploded in a micro vision of the pain
you caused, the years you stole, the heart you stopped.

-L.J. Lenehan

My flawless rose, golden
prearranged to last a lifespan
discoloured, disfigured
hidden in a chastity belt of shame,
sliced out, painfully reminding me
of barren early blooms,
oh how absolute this mortal joke
of abandonment.

-L.J. Lenehan-
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First Hello

An agreement made,
rooted in time,
no promises, no regrets,
each chapter silently unfolded
a scene that deleted
a piece of me.

I evolved from all the re-writes
into a breathless, nameless shape
unprepared to exchange me,
for nothing.
Spiraling in doubt, about what I owe –
it was I that paid the price

of mornings with no hope
left only with regrets
that the final goodbye
was no more beautiful
than the first hello
when I was complete.

-L.J. Lenehan-

Photo from: https://www.facebook.com/BelladonnaLoves
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